Standing: Revised version

I've revised this comic because the old version just wasn't working for me.

 New revised version

Previous version

I'd recorded the events in the sequence I experienced as honestly and accurately as possible. So what was missing? What was wrong with it? I read through it over and over again. And this is how I broke it down and changed things.

Message (Old version) 

"I think he is pooping. But he is standing. And pooping at the same time. And for so long. And he has lots of poo-poo."

They were separate thoughts/messages. And they were not connected.

From my advertising days and from doing many comics over the years, I've found that it is important to keep it to just ONE message. That's because I realise that people can only hold one message in their minds at one time, me included. Give them 2 or more messages and they will likely not remember anything. It will just be a mess. So for this revised version, I tried my best to distil everything into ONE singular message:

Message (New Revised version):

"I think he is just practicing standing but it turns out that he is standing to make room for his poo-poo to come out."

This was a tough one but I think it works better and funnier. What do you think? Is the comic simpler? Does it communicate better? Try out having just one message for your comics. Does it make it better?

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